Tuesday 18 March 2008

How to Survive (in) the Internet

Teh intrnetz haz becomes pplr theez dez and lot of newfagz writez (figure 1.0). Ever thought "wtf" when you've read such a sentence? Well, there is some help for you to understand this babble. What began as 1337-speak has been evolving gradually into a language with an own modified syntax (see Cat can Has Grammar), e.g. "Can I haz x" where x is a variable for a noun (figure 1.1). A so called meme - coined by 'The Lord of Infinite Darkness' himself 6Richard6Dawkins6 - is for example a picture or phrase that is repeated until it's burned into your hypothalamus (e.g. figure 1.2). Source of about 99% of those memes (e.g. Caturday) are imageboards like notorious 4chan which started as anime imageboard (figure 1.3) and became a platform for incestous narutarted pedophiles and virgins (figure 1.4). Lately some linguists (e.g. from Language Log) are trying to analyze certain features of this variety and others even use it to compose a new programming language. Here are a few links that might elevate you to the higher echelons of faggotery.

1. Urban Dictionary
A good dictionary about essential topics like being f'd in the A with a big rubber D. Tons of examples and not only usable for internet speak, but also for wackidy wack Gs in tha hoods. Respect.

2. Encyclopedia Dramatica
THE most important source for internet history. Ever cared who invented the internet? ED gives the answer:

"The Internets, a magical cloud of information that floats over your head in the stratosphere, was invented at least 100 years ago by Al Gore and pluralized by George W. Bush. At first it was used only by the army, ensuring that in the event of nuclear war, officers could still view porn. Some time around 1981 or 2007 (if you're a FAG!!!1!), some guy in his basement found that he could use his Atari 2600 with his 300 baud modem to steal the internet for himself. 5 years later, AOL streamlined this process and the Internets as we know them now were born. Only these days, there is way moar free pr0n and moar warez. It is rumoard there may be small pockets of useful information hidden deep in the bowels of the Internets. This has been proven to be false. Presently, scientists believe the Internets to be the greatest proof that most of our species is totally fucking batshit insane, outdoing even the holocaust and white people."

3. 4chan, 7chan, 420chan
Notorious imageboards that have been partyvaned for posting pedophilia. The source of all shit and evil on internet. Beware of gore, porn, racism, sexism, drug abuse, homoeroticism and worse... You should be really fucked up to enter the site.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok you retard....4chan/7chan/420chan are decent sites.....if you dont want bad shit dont go into bad boards....4chan has created a shit load of internet content,and is a rather well astablished site..
so dont be so descrimanatory

Laughing Man said...

Have you read the category? Comedy! I'm well aware of the creative potential of /b/ and even stated - explicitly - that almost all memes originated from imageboards like 4chan.